i found my heart in delaware...

this last long weekend, i found myself on the delaware shore with friends. my girlfriend's grandma has a condo in bethany beach, so we took two carloads of friends down to the beach. we ate (well), we drank (a lot), we took walks on the beach, went swimming in the indoor pool, some of them worked out, we laughed, we watched movies. and i got to witness a great friend propose to his girlfriend. one of their first weekends together as a couple was spent in the exact same spot last year, so he decided that it would be appropriate to commemorate THIS weekend with an engagement ring. and being the only person in the group that knew he was going to do it, i was ablaze with excitement. i was the secret cohort, the co-conspirator... put in charge of actually putting the engagement ring on the wineglass charm before dinner, and my hands would NOT stop shaking. i couldn't make a bow with the string, i'm not kidding... i was in the bathroom for five minutes and finally gave up, tying it in a knot instead. she was so surprised. they make an absolutely beautiful and wonderful couple and i was just so happy to be included.

we also had a five year old with us (this is the same five year old that i spent an entire holiday party sitting on the floor with playing 'memory' all those months ago, if you're keeping track).



she has that disheveled, i live in a third world country (minus my polka dot pink bathing suit) kind of thing going on.. but that's because we were all laughing and playing tag a few moments beforehand.

i forget sometimes how much i love children... since i live in a world of adults in the city. this last weekend was the most rejuvenating experience. my heart feels full.

when penelope sits on your lap, as she's apt to do while watching any sort of movie, she'll lift her arm up and play with your hair, twirling it around on her finger... and is always holding a hand or something like that. the love and affection of a child...there really is nothing like it.

other women worry sometimes that they won't be good mothers... i don't worry that i won't be a good mother, i know i will be. i just worry that i'll never BE a mother (don't respond to that part... i'm just braindumping).

i'm back in the city after three days of atlantic ocean, fresh salt air, great beach walking, and a lot of laughter. it's a good day.

please smile...