Friday, February 15, 2008

weird dreams are made of thee...

i had an utterly bizarre dream last night. normally i don't remember my dreams, i am merely left with a vague sense of memory, or adventure, but i never remember specifics. for some reason, i remember almost all of my dream last night. and it included a bunch of people that i've never met before, but they all had distinguishable faces and names. i ended up falling in love with a man named steve. i have an ex named steve that i sometimes think about and wonder the 'what ifs' of me actually moving to new jersey six years ago and actually marrying him... but that's neither here nor there. he married someone else last july and we no longer speak. moving on.

the man from my dream was named steve, and he lived in a house with his sister and a few other people. it was a big house, and the main bedroom had a big bed that was low to the ground. there were a lot of weird adventure related elements to the dream that i won't bother going into... but the odd piece of it that is still resonating with me is that i felt loved. whatever relationship i was creating with this steve in my dream included him loving me. and as sappy as this sounds, it's been so long since a man actually loved me, that i woke up with tears on my cheeks. so girlie.

my dreams are sometimes a foreshadowing of what will occur. i have had instances of supreme deja vu, or experienced something that i KNOW i dreamt about a few nights or weeks before. not to say that some guy named steve is going to love me tomorrow, but for some reason i woke up feeling really hopeful this morning... and very anti the bullshit.

i even wrote a few emails to men that i've gone out with over the last few months that sort of pulled a slow fade or just haven't followed through on the things that they said they'd do... we all know how i love the slow fade... and i feel better having at least put it out there that i don't appreciate the cowardly bow out.

gotta love being thirty...

5 comments:

Heather said...

AwwwwWWWWW....

You'll have that, I know it. Whether with "Steve" or some other dream-guy (ar ar ar).

But seriously, you're just too much of a gem not to have that.

It will be so.
*waving two fingers across my computer screen, like Obi Wan telling the guards, "These are not the droids you're looking for*."*




*ps --- this is, coincidentally, what I think every.single.time I wave my hands in front of a touchless paper towel dispenser... Dork? Me?

Karen said...

Fucking right. (sorry...this deserves a little cussing.)

We're too old for the beating around the bush crap.

Well done, T.

Jennifer Summer said...

It's fucking stupid how much I adore you.

Fucking STUPID.

xox

Natalina said...

I love that you're loving thirty. LOVE it. And dreams....good gosh I know what you mean. Let's hope this dream is also an exception. I seem to dream of random men constantly. They aren't typically real...but an amalgamation of all the men I've ever been with or dreamed of. But very haunting sometimes...for better or worse.

I need to start bloggin my dreams more... one dream can maybe not actually mean alot.... but I wonder about patterns.....hmmm.

OK, I'm beginning to ramble.
;) nattie

Natalina said...

I meant let's hope this dream is NO exception. derr.