Wednesday, June 27, 2007

i am standing...

whisper to the wall

as i wither, wither, wither.

and i wallow in the sound of footsteps walking away.

with my face pressed tight against this cold, crisp wall.

i can hear your heart...beating.



batting me down

below the barren bones

my body pulses.

picking just this poignant place

pretending to prepare for


pregnancy pauses alone and pressed against the wall.

this face, this cheek

this pelvis collapsed against everything.

i mold to it... to this wall and to you.

it is my anchor and you are fleeting,

as are my memories of emptiness.

they are forgotten


there is no wall.

i am standing... always.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

if i could just go back... if i could rub everything out... starting with myself

my hip muscles are sore today... in a 'you had great sex last night' kind of a way... but there was no sex last night (or the night before that if you're on the two day to sore bandwagon) so it makes no sense. i'm trying to remember what kind of dreams i was having last night, b/c maybe i'm pregnant via imagination again, and was having a mid slumber imaginary boinkfest again. who knows. all i'm saying is that my hips are sore. in that good way.

they are testing the fire alarms in my building this week. so all week long we get to listen to someone yelling through the intercom 'THIS IS ONLY A TEST!!' (i must type in caps so you get the full effect) and then the droning and obnoxious 'uhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' noise for ten second stints at a time. uber annoying. and no one seems to care, the volume of their speech just gets a few decibals louder. i find this exceedingly amusing.

admission: all last week and part of this week i was a little cerfuffled by the loss of my new black bermuda shorts.. the wear to work kind, that i'd purchased whilst in L.A. a few weeks ago. i may have mentioned it, but i couldn't find them ANYWHERE and even called and texted jasean ninety times asking her to look in her laundry baskets and under her bed b/c i knew that i'd lost them. well yesterday i got to work and had a sudden moment of brilliance when i realized that i never bought black bermuda shorts whilst in LA... i bought black pants. and they are hanging safely in my closet. all this tells me, i am SERIOUSLY losing my mind.

but now i really want to go buy black bermuda shorts. ;)

carry on.