weekend on the water...

does anyone actually send their old jewelry to outofyourlife.com? that has got to be the strangest thing i've ever heard of. "it's time to break up with his jewelry too"... i'd like to meet the person that created this concept... high five him/her... and then laugh and walk away. hilarious.

this weekend is a beach and water weekend. boating w/ friends later today, and then some beach action tomorrow. i've got my spray sunscreen (greatest invention EVER) locked and loaded. it's time to freckle, people. the white skin must leave me.

after weeks and weeks of traveling and visiting friends, i'm FINALLY doing laundry. you know you've gotten to that lazy point, when instead of doing the laundry, you just go out and buy more underwear. because, dear GOD, do i soooo not need any more underwear. so... i'm doing laundry. and i'm up three new pairs of skivs. ridiculous.

my friend d has me addicted to yogurt/granola/blueberries for breakfast. and also... addicted to the wii. i need a wii. like... NEED a wii. after several hours of tennis, golf, and mario cart, my arms are actually sore. i mean really sore. which in and of itself is extremely pathetic, but also... exciting. i mean...i could invest in the wii and get amazing arms in the process. we like this idea. and by WE, i mean me and my arm backfat.

heading back to seattle for several days, and have somehow booked many many many shoots. my bank account likes this plan. and then... i come back home and move into my new greenpoint apartment. goodbye LIC... i shall miss thee.

back to business...

back in town after spending the last few days in rochester with the wonderful tammy swales (www.tammyswales.com). it was a really amazing trip for me in terms of getting to watch someone run a successful photo business... reminded me that it's ok to let the dorkiness hang out. the right clients will still find you.

signed the lease on the new apartment in greenpoint... aka "the closet". it'll be nice to get my shit out of storage, have access to my entire wardrobe all at once. sleep in my own space.

going to see the new HP with o.b.e. tonight... midnight screening. pretty sure that i'll be giggling and clapping with glee the entire time. i think i embarrass him. :)

very excited about heading back to seattle next week... an excessive number of photo shoots have been scheduled, and i'll have a good enough number of days to get to see friends this time. hugs will be served on ice.

i love the sunshine... it does good things for the soul.

family time...

i suppose it's always a little bit dangerous to spend any length of time with friends that have small children, because afterwards i'm left with this overwhelming feeling like i'm missing out on something. 10 days with a 5 and 7 year old... 4 days with a 3.5 year old. my best friend just got married. i want whatever is next.

i think i've exhausted myself of the single life. i don't like it. i want the next stage, the whatever version of happily ever after that's supposed to be mine. i still hate dating. i hate the insecurities that it triggers in me. the 'if someone wanted to see me, they'd make an effort to do so, why aren't they making an effort?'s... etc. and it doesn't mean that i'm not satisfied within myself about ME. b/c that's not really the issue. i'm not satisfied with the single me. and i'm not saying that because i need someone else to 'complete me', and all that bee ess. i'm saying it because i want my legacy to be seen in the joy of my children's faces. that's it. so what do i do to get there? it's all very strange.

the crazy traveling for photo work is finally over. so now i'm back in new york, jobless and apartmentless... and now is when i really begin to knuckle down and figure it all out. get it all settled. and also when i start freaking the hell out. i begin to wonder why i bother staying here. what exactly is keeping me here?

it's always the same things with me, right? right.