cassandra's dream

how ANYONE could give this movie an above average rating is beyond me. after deciding that i'd go see it and perusing the split decision reviews on metacritic, i was kind of surprised at how horrible this movie was. i've never wanted to punch colin farrell in the face so badly in my entire life. his facial expressions were hilarious and the storyline was predictable and not awesome. i predicted everything that would happen almost down to the detail and knew precisely when they'd decide to end the movie... aka at the wrong moment.

woody allen... oh woody. how i don't love you... and you keep reminding me why. i laughed a lot during this movie of yours, and i'm pretty sure that this wasn't your intention.

if you're as much into accents as i am, then the film will be completely worth the two hours that you'll waste. okay fine, it's not THAT bad, and the in the dark hand holding that accompanied the movie completely made up for it. i was entertained... but not overjoyed when all was said and done.

the poster is kickass though...

donations welcome...

p.s. i'm now saving for this beast... which according to everyone is a necessity.



it's also $1200. i think my pancreas just exploded. ugh.

in the back of mind, i can rationalize this purchase by also using it as a dumb bell to lift with. so not only will my shots be kickass, but my guns will be a-BLAZING!

ouch ouch, you're on my hair.

as i was heading back into the locker room after my workout last night, i was presented with an interesting site. seven or eight very tall and lovely (fully rigged) firemen were standing around a woman that was holding her ankle and looking very unhappy. i stopped... stood there drinking my water and just stared at the menseses. they were pretty.

now i ask you, does a broken ankle require eight huge men to help you... as well as three ambulances and a firetruck outside blocking traffic with their lights swirling? i think not. however, i'm starting to wonder if an ankle injury at the 51st/lex NYSC location isn't a BRILLIANT idea.

i think i feel some ankle pain coming on...

don't grocery shop on an empty stomach...

that whole saying about not going grocery shopping on an empty stomach, should also be extended to online shopping. for example, don't decide to look for your favorite food items that are not available on the east coast, when all you've eaten all day is a giant tub of gummy bears.

i ALMOST purchased 6 giant bags of tim's cascade jalapeno chips and a 2 pound loaf of tillamook medium cheddar cheese, for the combined total of $40 with shipping. come on dactyl, you're not THAT ridiculous.

i'm still really wanting the chips and the cheese though, people. i'm not going to lie.

bon weekend...

i spent all weekend unhermiting myself... which was fantastic... and then sunday, i did THIS:





this is my adorable friend meghan...

hugs and kisses friends!

taking it back the old school..

or not really.

i have some friends that are in an 80s cover band, so last night, a few of us ventured to DUMBO to watch their first show. a little too much wine, a little too much woohooing, and this morning i'm left with half a voice and a big grin on my face.

also, it must be said... i'm listening to the new blake lewis album (he's from seattle, we share friends, i'm being supportive) and the damn thing is GOOD. i try and stay low-pro about my ridiculous musical choices but i can't help it. this is absolutely a dance about in the cheekies style album. although at present temperatures i'm wearing socks, pants, and two long sleeved t-shirts (but i'm pretending that i'm in the cheekies).

also, if you don't know who leona lewis... you should. her voice is pure brilliance. her new album is also amazing. and yes, these people are both american and british idol winner/runners up etc, and yes... i'm retarded. just go LISTEN!

don't judge me... i'm fancy... and music makes my soul smirk. :)

sometimes taking that next step is a bad idea...

sooooo the last few weeks, i've been talking to some people (aka men/boys/guys/etc)... some of which... delightful, i look forward to meeting in person, trying out that hand holding thing... attempting to look you in the eyes for an extended period of time without blushing... etc.

some... not so much. i'm sure most people would agree that there are certain "steps" that you would follow whilst meeting people from the interweb dating sites. you email on that site, then you move to normal email, then maybe IM, then texting, and then up to a phone call. then depending on how the voice interraction goes, you think about meeting in person. and usually by then you have a sense of whether or not you like their personality, and you just hope that part of your loins/heart/reactionary bits respond positively to seeing them in person.

then there's the guy, who on the phone, makes you crawl out of your skin every time he laughs. you rub your temples trying to be strategic about how to get off the phone, and then about how you can let him down gently...because it's clearly not going to be easy when he's already talking about "showing you around town" and referring to you as "babe". and please note (as if you didn't know this about me already), i HATE being called babe. if you are not my boyfriend of several weeks/months/years, you do not get to call me babe... or hun... or cutie. or some other pet name that makes me want to stab sharp objects into my eyeballs and maybe punch a puppy or two. don't do it.

sometimes i hate dating, and sometimes i love it. and sometimes i have to calm myself down about getting excited about someone new that i'm talking too. have to be patient, go slowly...blah blah blah BLAH. what if i just want some good smooches, eh?

okay, that's enough of that. i'd love to close with this factoid: one of my girlfriends just ended our IM convo with "i'm gonna go have sex now"... and i love her for it.

GET IT GET IT!!

clearly i'm ridiculous...

but we already knew this.

twenty degrees outside and still we shot photographs. ah yes...totally worth it.

men vs women

it goes without saying (and yet, here i am bothering to say it) that men don't often have to plan their footwear around WHO they are going to be spending an evening with. that's so odd. i'm having lunch with a man that is 5'11"... so i'm wearing flats right now.

pfffft.

i am the author of my own legend...

since i've been back in town after the holidays, i've been extremely solitary. part of that was due to my being sick, but even now that i'm feeling back to normal, i just want to be quiet. seek some sense of peace perhaps? i'm not really sure. i'm starting to wonder if i'm sabotaging my move here... meaning if i don't go out and meet people and see the city and enjoy myself... LIVE, in other words... then i'll despise it and move on... or move back home. i don't know why i'm doing this, per se, but i think that i am. and maybe this is me acknowledging that fact. saying something out loud (because clearly i'm saying all of this out loud whilst i type it) makes it real. i just don't know what i'm afraid of.

it occurs to me that people will perceive in you exactly what you want them to see. if you exude anger, you are angry. if you show them fear, then you are afraid. if you don't display confidence, they will not know that you are in fact confident. the key is to walk with your chin up... turn the music up louder, sing if you have to, skip while you stream down any sidewalk. just remember to live in exactly the very fullest version of you that is inside of you. and do not be afraid. fuck "them". because no matter who you are and where you are at this very moment in time, you are perfection. the author of your own legend.

i have a plan.

i haven't been sleeping well. i haven't been able to get myself asleep before midnight, and up in time to wake up and be alert by the time i get to work. i hit the wall at 2pm again. i feel like taking naps at my desk. i had to fix it... so i went to the gym today after work and kicked the everloving bajeezus out of myself. my arms aren't moving very well, but at least i managed to tucker myself out.

via this online dating endeavor, a guy started emailing me today that looks frighteningly similar to my exboyfriend. seriously. they may be related. i even said as much to the guy and he asked to see a picture. even HE said that they look spookily alike. i really don't think that i can date someone that looks like someone that i already dated. what if i shout out the wrong name? and really, i don't want another reminder of that wasted time of my life. next!

in other news, i watched an advance dvd copy of i am legend last night. why no one bothered to tell me that it's a movie about zombies, i'll never know. you jerks. here's me reading every metacritic review before i see a new movie from now on. i can just imagine... had half-asian jacob been here to sit with me while it was on, he would have been jabbing me in the sides to make me jump even higher at the suspenseful parts. p.s. i didn't like it... and my opinion has nothing to do with the zombies. and p.p.s. long sweeping views of a completely desolate manhattan, with shrubbery growing in odd places and birds chirping (who hears birds chirping anymore?!), is completely unsettling.

bygones and good night.

oh the deals you make with your friends...

bff kari and i decided take part in that 'match your friends' thing on match.com... mostly because it's hilarious. we are agreeing that we'll go out with whoever we pick for each other, based on good things i hope. which means that i better do my diligence and find some gems for her, or else i'll end up going out with some 5'5" hairy beast that smells of dirty feet.

soooooooooo after cleaning the bajeezus out of my apartment and doing tons of laundry (love clean sheet day woooooo), i was looking at some of the profiles on there... i really don't love dating in this town. i feel forced to date online just to meet interesting men, and even then... blah.

anyway, i'm now looking at the profile of this gorgeous man who clearly works 50 hours a day and is very proud of himself... and there are some things that i'm willing to look past or just get over, unless you say something that makes my eyes bleed like this:

"You cant learn anything important from a novel. I only read the Wall Street Journal."

i TOTALLY gave him my phone number... not.

random glimpse into my dating soul...

here is what the free eHarmony questionnaire has to say about me:

Many people, most probably, will be glad to be in the room you're in. At work you make the environment livelier and the banter more interesting, so the time moves swiftly and the experience is a happier one. At home you keep everyone connected because you engage each of them in the conversational action, and as a result they are more connected as well with one another. You make home a warmer and more interesting place for everyone who lives there.

You might also be helpful to some people. There are those who need to talk but aren't very good at it. They don't know how to begin the kind of conversation that would allow them to share whatever is in their personal stories that they'd like or need to talk about. You could make that easier for them with your way with words. Some people just need an example and a little encouragement to come out of their shell and get into the greater fun and personal connectedness that will make their lives so much more satisfying. Again, you might be just the right person to make that happen for them.

So almost everyone will be glad to be with you, you make life more interesting for those you live and work with, and you could help some of your friends who need just a little encouragement to open up and find in themselves the kinds of energetic and warm connections that you thrive on. Not that you are a pushover; in fact, you are often quite assertive. In taking care of yourself you also make sure that others are engaged and energized.

i discover anthony lane

i am sometimes swayed by public opinion when it comes to entertainment... meaning sometimes i believe what the crazy people at rottentomatoes are saying, and add movies to my netflix queue (joy) based solely on the reviews of others. but sometimes, i should be careful.

i brilliant example of this is sunshine, the movie that i watched with friend P last night. it stars cillian murphy (batman begins) and michelle yeoh (memoirs of a geisha). a sci-fi thriller that takes place in space... on a spaceship... on the way to the sun to help regenerate the earth's life force, or else everyone will DIE!!!... dun dun dun. really... the real reason that i even added the movie in the first place is because of chris evans (london, fantastic four). i am swayed by the pretty, it can't be helped.

anyway, the movie was AWFUL... so we get on metacritic to see how well the movie did with the public and it got a really high score and unusually complimentary reviews. we were shocked. until we found anthony lane, a brilliant movie critic for the new yorker. and now my friends: anthony lane reviews sunshine

you really don't need to watch the movie to enjoy this man's writing about it... i spent a good part of last night rolling on the floor with laughter.

some people are pure magic. and now i've found a man's opinion that i can trust. ;)

perfection...

there really is nothing better than spending a contented evening alone listening to the new SIA album and reading the yet-to-be published new francine prose novel.

bliss.

if you could shut up, that'd be AWESOME!

why is it that when you call a restaurant to get food delivered, you end up with a headache... or just annoyed? there should some sort of universal filler noise or word when ordering something over the phone that isn't UH HUH. because as i'm giving you information, including my credit card number, it's suuuuuuuper annoying to listen to you say UH HUH, UH HUH, UH HUH in between every letter, word, or number. i'm JUST saying. i know you're there... i know you hear... i know you're actually getting what i'm saying, so if you have to make any sort of strange utterance, why not repeat what i'm saying... just for s's and g's. this will also eliminate the need for you to call me back fourteen seconds later to reconfirm my credit card number because you wrote it down incorrectly.

thank you... now bring me my sushi.

hi friends! it's dactyl here... slowly losing her mind. i sat at home for two hours yesterday waiting and waiting for my freshdirect to be delivered. yeah. i selected a wednesday delivery slot. awesome.

and please tell me why AWESOME is the greatest word ever? i use it excessively, i know that i do. i just can't help it. my bad. word up g. ugh.

it's warm and balmy today in new york. the warmer air and my new pseudo blackout draperies seem to make it impossible to wake up with my alarm in the mornings. this is the second time this week that i slept through the buzzing and managed to make it in to work twenty minutes late. yes, it's wednesday. i know.

there will be blood

managed to fenagle (that's a word right?) an advanced dvd copy of there will be blood yesterday, and watched it yesterevening in bed. now let's just say this, daniel day lewis is brilliant. he is. just a brilliant actor. and i can certainly understand why this film is receiving the critical acclaim that it is, and why people are buzzing about winning awards, etc etc. i, however, did not LOVE it. i should make this clear though, i'm not one to like the western genre. nor am i one to enjoy the pace that goes along with prairie concepts or meandering or anything that one might do in a western. if i have to watch a western, give me the guns, and some ornery dudes and witty banter and that'll be that. i'll say it again... DDL is brilliant, but i did not love the movie. there. moving on.

some time during the middle of the movie i decided that i'd make some pasta. because when you've been out of town for almost two weeks, and freshdirect gives you delivery dates into mid week (because EVERYONE is trying to restock their fridges after a long vacation via freshdirect), you don't have much left in the cupboards. so i made this pasta... in fact i made the entire box of pasta... because really, cold pasta is delish in the next day, and decided to try heating up this fancy sun-dried tomato alfredo sauce that i'd purchased a while ago but never used. oh... my... lanta that stuff was heinously disgusting. i can't even pinpoint for you the nature of the flavor it was just foul. i only used a little of it on the noodles and then heaped forty-seven pounds of kraft fake cheese on top and it still tasted foul. talk about forcing low portion size. i couldn't eat anything for the rest of the evening... however, if you'd like to try it, the leftover sauce is in some tupperware in my fridge. have at it... yo.

i'm dreaming of massages. over the break my mother took me up to the salish lodge for brunch and massages and now i'm wanting another one. by the way, if you live in seattle or anywhere near the salish lodge (www.salishlodge.com), make sure you ask for sandy. she does an AMAZING combination of lomi lomi and hot stone massage. best i've ever had. EVER. and that's saying something, considering that i used to work in a spa. dude. do it. anyway, the boss gave me a gc for a nearby spa and i think i'm going to go get a massage this weekend. my post-sickness body could use a little lovin. well... my normal body could "use a little lovin" all the time... but let's not be greedy here.

slowly chipping away at the ole "to do" list

for the very first time in my entire life, i went to the movies alone today. i know... i'm pathetically old for this to have been the first time, but i'm weird like that. i'll probably never get to the point where i'll eat dinner in a fancy restaurant alone, but this was a small step for me.

i saw an early evening showing of the savages. it was a delightful experience spent with a theater full of seventy year olds. ahhhhhhhh the joys of living.

welcome 2008

pardon my disappearance... two weeks spent back home in seattle "relaxing" have kept me completely occupied. and now that the dactyl is back in new york with a raging cold, i just can't seem to compile all my thoughts tactfully.

which means, you're going to get a giant brain dump of events that i'm recalling as i type them. really... lucky you.

- saw atonement with my mother. visually BEAUTIFUL movie, left me feeling rather thoughtful but not exactly weepy. two thumbs up-ish.
- watched the bourne ultimatum (finally). a two hour complitation of ass-kickery and awesomeness. perhaps the best bourne movie yet. i enjoyed it whole heartedly and was most assuredly standing on the couch screaming with glee during all the fight scenes.
- got to participate in (aka watch) the birth of my friend erin's son. i've never witnessed a birth, not to mention a home birth, and the experience (i can assure you) was awe-inspiring. words can do it no justice...
- did an ass ton of dancing, dressed up in ridiculous outfits, ate good food, and gave zillions of hugs. i only cried a little bit. only a little.
- had an eye exam and got fitted for contacts. it has not been a joyful experience, although i think we've found a contact that isn't going to make me scratch my eyes out. as soon as this stress and alcohol induced eye twitch goes away, i'll be attempting to wear the contacts on a daily basis. wish me luck.

i've been home sick today watching movies and drinking tea. my new draperies are up and i'm all unpacked. it's weird yet lovely to have a weekend to do absolutely nothing and regain my new york bearings.

happy 2008 friends and strangers... i have a lot in store for myself. wishing you a heart full of joy in this new year!!