ice cream, you scream...

slightly disconcerting moment this morning when i realized that someone's perfume had the distinctive odor of my vibrator cleaner. did not need that reminder at 8:30 this morning... that's for sure.

it appears, due to my own good fortune and someone else's idiocy at double booking themselves, that i'll be in attendance at madonna's concert tomorrow night. hi... here's me being excessively excited! i've never seen her live. so... CHECK. word on the street is that her stage performance this go round is rather aerobic. maybe i should wear some legwarmers and get some good cardio in as well. gotta keep your social calendar as multi-task oriented as possible. i mean REALLY.

i'm getting the business in a little over a week and a half. thank the ceiling for visitors with a purpose. i'm well overdue... and behaving that way. which is never impressive.

all of this financial crisis mumbo jumbo is making me very happy that i hadn't bothered to contribute to my 401k over the last two years... now i'm not going to lose more money that i never had. or something a little more grammatically relevant... or correct, even.

i'm rambling.

my lovely friend j sent a freeze dried case of graeter's ice cream from ohio, and it just got here. needless to say, ever fabulous coworker r and i will be enjoying the everloving shiitake out of 6 fabulous flavors in t-minus fifteen minutes. if you need me, i'll be swimming in dairy goodness.

cheers.

"THAT WAS AWESOME!!"

we all know of my love for the word "awesome"... i love it even more when it's screamed at me by someone else.

my weekend included WAAAAAAY too much alcohol... rugby match watching (love. this. sport.)... laughing, sunburning, and all around awesomeness. i love those nights that warrant returned phone calls the next day by friends in CALIFORNIA b/c i decide in my drunken delirium to call my guy friends that live nowhere near me. btw, if you're going to try to booty call someone when drunk, try picking someone that lives within... saaaaay... an hour or so from you. not the other coast. i am clearly awesome.

apparently i was throwing out lines like "what time are you off? should i just give you an address?" to the bartender... yelling at dumb guys that who were being rude to my girlfriends, and buying shots for EVERYONE. and by "buying shots" i mean, not spending a penny while at the bar. so who knows who bought them... but it wasn't me.

which brings me to the purpose of this post. imagine, if you will, the next morning... when my evening's bed mate had asked very sweetly to borrow my toothbrush (something that i would normally say absolutely NOT to, but let it slide this time), and then limped into the bathroom (a rugby injury not so much MY fault). a few minutes later i hear the sonicare start buzzing... he's brushing, he's brushing.. and then i hear "THAT WAS AWESOME!!". gotta love a good sonicare clean, man.

of course i would have preferred to hear that after any sort of good business, but this just makes for a better story. he was like a three year old with a new toy.

awesome: sonicare.
not awesome: a full day hangover.

---

also... nina is the name of my drunk alter ego. and she, as a thirty-year old single woman, enjoys the naked. it's true, she just does. and sometimes, she wins the argument over moral judgement and appropriate behavior. here is how she managed to finagle this evening:

him at around 8pm (after the game which started at 1 which is when i started drinking): i'd like to buy you dinner.
nina: okay!
him: let's leave now, i'll buy you some dinner.
nina: okay! (we leave)
him: what should we eat?
nina: i have an idea... (dials diner near her apartment and orders a burger for pick-up, walks him onto the subway, and heads towards queens).
him (as nina is trying to eat said burger): that can wait.

aaaaaand then it's 5am and nina still hasn't had anything to eat. the poor dear.

i'm as quiet as a mouse...

i've been rather absent, haven't i? my apologies friends... and strangers. i've been enjoying the almost spring time in new york city. the endless canoodling that goes along with dating someone lovely (someone who plays the guitar and takes more amazing pictures than i do), and trying not to get 1) too excited or 2) ahead of myself. because we all know that when i acknowledge and talk about something, it goes away.

so mums the word for now... i'm just practicing my britishisms, and being mocked endlessly for quoting movie lines a split second before they're said onscreen.

what have YOU been up to? tell me good things...

sex is on the brain...

and it's not just MY brain, it's everyone's brain(s). perhaps spring really is on it's way... but i'm hearing it everywhere. those of us that have weathered the winter virus (literally and literally) have come out on the other side ready for every spring related shenanigan available to us. aka romping, handholding, the good business, three hour makeout sessions, and anything else good ju-ju that we can throw in there.

this of course means that my season of weird sex dreams has started. and it really will last all season... probably through to the end of the summer. sooooo last night i had a pretty killer SD (sex dream - for those of you not paying close enough attention). it involved a summer vacation complex, where i forgot to bring sunscreen and walked from room to room asking for some... which obviously in my porn-soaked mind meant that my dreamself had a lot of sex with my friends (who weren't actually any friends that i recognize from real life, just dream friends), and who were almost all (interestingly enough)... women.

that's right: last night, the dream me had a lot of summertime rompiness with a bunch of ladies. perhaps it's last week's excessive viewage of the L word that is still on the mind... bygones. it was hot. i make no excuses for the fact that from time to time i fall into the neck-up lesbian category. there are worse things after all.

also... went to see step up 2 yesterday. CLEARLY the storyline was stupid, but the dancing was amazing (much better than the first one), and featured this little delicious nugget. robert hoffman:



happy monday and happy almost spring... or happy romp hunting all you hormonal wondertwins. i heart you.

donations welcome...

p.s. i'm now saving for this beast... which according to everyone is a necessity.



it's also $1200. i think my pancreas just exploded. ugh.

in the back of mind, i can rationalize this purchase by also using it as a dumb bell to lift with. so not only will my shots be kickass, but my guns will be a-BLAZING!

you would figure..

i mean really, you would figure.

yesterday was an utterly lovely day. i worked out, i took a long shower and even had the presence of mind to take care of myself, i had a healthy lunch, i read an amazing manuscript, i watched sports, i drank tea.

so it stands to reason that 1) i'm so sore in weird places that i can barely raise my arms and walking is a little bit weird right now and 2) that whatever business i was giving myself in the shower yesterday, albeit fantastic, caused me to lean into the tile a little too hard with my forehead and now i've got a bruise and a small bump up near my hairline.

i mean who DOES that... oh yes, that would be me.