Monday, October 29, 2007

the mighty will eventually fall...

i am one of those people that are prone to random mishaps... you'd think someone that has been dancing for most of their lives would have the grace associated with gliding freely throughout the world without food disasters and the like, but i am just not one of those people. we all know about my ongoing battle with yogurt containers (especially when it's a pink yogurt)... but i'm bringing this up because my morning latte is sitting between my arms as i type this, and i'm forgetting what it was that i was going to say, because i'm convinced that at any moment, one wrist will have a spasm, and i will have spilled this latte all over myself. i mean, i'm wearing beiges and khakis today, but a brown lap stain probably wouldn't pull the ensem together, if you know what i'm saying.

i need hand lotion... hold please.

ah much better. what is it about the soap in public restrooms that just wants to strip the flesh off of your body? moving on.

my whole point of today's entry... regardless of how high and mighty a person might feel (and mind you, i very rarely have grandious notions of excellence about myself... due to the aforementioned battle with yogurt containers) there are instances in life that remind us that we are, in fact, fallible... and aren't as ego-worthy as we might expect ourselves to be (not me, mind you... but some people).

here are my examples for today:

1. the end of the deodorant stick. no matter how graceful you are trying to be, the mini sliver that is left is going to make you feel ridiculous as you try to apply even the thinnest of layers. you lean over slightly to help with the application, you might use part of a finger to keep the sliver on the stick, you might use a finger to smear the actual deod onto your body (i haven't done this yet but i've heard other people speak of resorting to this method), or you simply place your armpit over the stick and sort of smash it up in there, cutting yourself with the plastic of the container... and hope for the best. at any given moment, there is a 97% chance that the sliver is going to fall off the stick and land on the floor. and b/c it's just you in the bathroom, and you'll be the only person to know, you scoop the sliver back off of the floor, try and balance it back on the top of the stick, pull off any unassuming pieces of lint or hair from the floor, and attempt steps one through twelve again. either way... i'm STILL left feeling completely inadequate as i will myself to remember to buy more deodorant during my lunch break today. will i? probably not.

2. lately i have been fighting with my watch. well not exactly fighting... but we've definitely been having some sort of misunderstanding. for no reason whatsoever, it will suddenly be 45 minutes slow. this is not some sort of 'and so it was that a wristwatch saved harold crick' moment... although if i suddenly start hearing emma thompson narrate my life... actually what i was about to say wasn't even true. i was GOING to say that i'd freak out, but really, i'd be beyond ecstatic. how could i not? i adore emma thompson. anyway, my watch battery is fine, and i don't feel like i'm snagging the winding mechanism on anything, but i think it's interesting that i only notice that my watch is off after 45 minutes. no more... no less.

i had more to say... but i've just spent the last ten minutes listening to people babble at each other in my office as they wait to go into a meeting in another room. and have subsequently lost my train of thought.

this latte is delicious though... and i'm craving some yogurt.

8 comments:

Karen said...

Digress much?

dactyl said...

you're JUST noticing this about me?

Anonymous said...

Happened upon your blog and laughed out loud. I've danced for most of my life and am the only person I know who could actually step on a rake and have it hit me in the face. For someone who exuded grace on the stage, reality has proven entirely the opposite.

I hate and love time pieces. My alarm clock is currently off by 20 minutes, despite the new battery. I stopped wearing a watch because of the utter frustration it caused me.

I heart Harold Crick.

Enjoying your blog. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I just did the finger application of the deodorant two days ago...

dactyl said...

HAHAHAAH well thank you Anon. and welcome.

nice to know that it isn't just me.

Loosy said...

Do you watch 30 Rock? If so you remind me of a hot, blonde, Tina Fey.

dactyl said...

no i do not (no cable)... but that's one hell of a compliment B.

Karen K said...

ok. do you have a video cam in my bathroom? cuz i just did that very same deod dance 3 days ago. and finally purchased new deod yesterday...