Sunday, October 28, 2007

i don't care what you do, just please stop showing me the lipstick...

my roommate's dog has a crush on me. his name is eden (yes i know), and he's a chihuahuahuhauhauaha (or however the hell you spell that horrendous word).
he whimpers, he shakes uncontrollably, and he twirls around in fast little circles when he thinks that someone is about to give him attention.

he also (though i have no idea why) gets visibly "excited" anytime i get near him. it completely (and i mean completely) grosses me out. for some reason, i've managed to avoid the oddities that go along with having male dogs (being mostly a cat owner), so i was ill-prepared for what this dog would do to me.

apparently he's never been neutered, so he humps other people's feet... but not me... he tries to lick my feet and then show me the lipstick. FOUL.

my roommate was out of town for about ten days a little bit ago, and i was trying really hard to be nice to the dog, and give him little pets on the head, etc... and one saturday afternoon, upon realizing that i'd been ignoring the dog for many many hours, i decided to allow the dog into my room and up onto my bed while i relaxed and watched a movie.

he seemed to be quieting down and watching the movie as well, until i looked down to see him going to town on himself with the biggest boner i've ever seen on a dog. i'm pretty sure that my neighbors thought i was being attacked due to the yelp that i screamed, but i threw the dog down the hall and immediately went into the bathroom to wash my hands... twice.

seriously. why does this creep me out so much? now i really can't go anywhere near the dog. i keep peeking to see if the lipstick is out...and when i'm around... oh it's out baby.

anyone else?? or is it just me?


arija said...

you refering to his penis as "the lipstick" is FAR more disturbing than if you were to say "the dog's penis." the lipstick! GROSS!!!!

dactyl said...

i wasn't the one to create that term, A... i'm just perpetuating it. obv.

Karen said...

I don't think anyone digs the red rocket, honey.

hanomaly said...

red rocket, rofl. to watch those pooches. my leg and well part of my upper torso was attacked by a rather large, randy dog whilst i was trying to find my way through a very heavy fog (not the fog in my brain). very creep stuff...... great, i'll have nightmares now.

Karen K said...

haha! that is twisted... for sure. i see now why you were skeptical about my c-h-i-h-u-a-h-u-a-s... but really, they are very cool creatures. just feed them a treat, then sit on a couch for a while and pet them, and they will cuddle and be your best friend forever and ever... AND, they're girls. so nooooo lipsticks. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!