Thursday, July 31, 2008

goodbye summer...

it seems so odd to me that it's suddenly august. well tomorrow it'll be august, if we're really being technical. but where did the summer go? i look at all the new yorkers and tourists and what not sweating their asses off with disgruntled looks on their faces... and i'm thinking all that sweat has GOT to be leading to weight loss... but then i look down at my own sweaty body and notice... nope.

life just keeps ticking by... and the more that i think about it, the more i wonder... what the hell am i doing here? not so much here... but HERE. with this life. i walk the sidewalks and have these conversations with myself (in my own head mind you, we wouldn't want people thinking that i'm crazy), and i have these ideas about what direction i think a novel should take, and by the time i'm sitting down again, i've completely forgotten what i would have written down. i so don't want to become one of those writers that walks around everywhere with a tape recorder... but i really might have to do it.

i pay attention to the random bits of information available on the subways... and i've seen this passage many, many times, but for some reason... reading it yesterday sort of stabbed me in the chest. i'm sure you've all seen it somewhere:

"There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born there, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size, its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something ….Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness, natives give it solidity and continuity, but the settlers give it passion." - E.B. White

i agree with this thought wholeheartedly... and it serves as a great reminder for me to continue to be passionate about my life here and what that means. i need to focus on my passions and stop worrying about other unnecessary actions or courses. i write... i photograph... i remember that i am passionate. i am a person of passion.

now if i only i could get laid. :)


Anonymous said...

i already know that i cannot remember my password. so eff you password!

these moments you have with yourself are the greatest moments, especially when they are followed by a feeling of slight contentment and a big ol' exhale. like that "shit, i am gonna be okay" feeling and then your passion is reignited. and you see things differently. sometimes it flickers and dies quick, finding a way to remind ourselves is important. i somehow believe that is where friends and love come in.

and go have an orgasm in your sleep :) xo, kdid

Anonymous said...

I totally feel you on where has the summer gone. I feel like yesterday it was January and all of a sudden it's August. Boo.

Karen said...

We're Frick and Frack, you and me, kid.

I'm getting laid on a regular basis (would be more often if up to me, but I digress...) and yet have ideas and dreams that I can't seem to follow for whatever reason.

You're on the good end, my dear. There's always Curtis.

Anonymous said...

it must be the heat...i looked in the mirror the other day and said to myself "who the hell are you?"

arija said...

my first summer in nyc i walked around and recorded voice notes to myself on my phone about the random funny or poignant stuff i saw or just happened to think while sitting on the interminable F train, etc. it's not as conspicuous as a tape recorder, and most phones have the voice notes option. you should consider it!

Heather said...

I just have to say... as an aside.... Aren't those in-your-sleep orgasms GREAT?!

I mean, not quite as great as the ones in-your-coitus, but still ---- fun to know your head has ways of taking care of you even when YOU won't. ;)

Orangefilter said...

Yes you need to record your thoughts. To go a step further a speech to text program would be really useful. I'll bet if you ever got your thoughts going in a single direction, and you could get rid of all the distractions, you could do this thing really well. Peace, Love and New York City..... ..