Monday, May 14, 2007

a life of maybes and almosts...

i'm actually not bitter... i'm really not... i've come to a point where i can relax comfortably in the knowledge that my love life is an endless sequence of maybes and almosts. new relationships that hold some sort of promise and potential, halfway passion moments, obvious connections that seemingly go nowhere. whose fault it is, i have no idea... but this is my life.

i got a phone call late last night... well i returned a phone call late last night... to the gentleman that i went on that great first date with a few weeks ago. he'd been rather MIA, and when someone does the whole 'i'll call you this week to schedule something' and never actually calls... you know something is up and that he's really just not that into you. because face it ladies, if he was into you... he'd be calling. you'd know that he wanted to see you, because he would (in fact) be making consecutive plans to do so.

so when i hadn't heard from him in a little while on the phone, i knew the jig was up. as it turns out (and this really is my favorite), he got drunk with a group of friends last week and ended up making out with one of his best girlfriends. the next sober encounter they decided to talk about what happened, and discuss their feelers... and of course, have tentatively decided to give it a go. now in all fairness to me... and her it would seem... he didn't think it was a good idea to continue to see me, although he was REALLY looking forward to it. he was empathic... and therefore i capitalize for your reading pleasure.

i, being the calm-minded person that i am when i go emotionally numb, told him that the best friend scenario is usually the best way to go about finding a true romance and wished him all the best in the his new endeavor. he just kept talking... and dragging it out... and THEN said 'i just want things to be cool between us in case things don't work out with her and then you and i can maybe pick things up again in the future.' i said 'oh yes, because i'm definitely going to just sit here and wait for you to end things with your best friend turned lover'... since our one date was sooooo earth shattering. please. i know what he MEANT to say, but he did an extremely bad job of saying it eloquently... or even in a non-insulting-to-tara sort of a way.


i shed two tears out of frustration... and today is, of course, another day.

the weekend was glorious. i got a lot of extra sleep in, spent time in central park with arija and jacob, and found time to drag jacob to an almost chick flick in waitress last night. adrienne shelly's last film before she was killed... and it was delightfully quirky and charming. please go see it.

enjoy your week... i know that i will.

carry on xoxxo tlc


Amanda Mae said...

Can I please note that we were both excited for a new day today.

I love your words.

arija said...

blog more blog more blog more!!!!

Brooklyn said...

It's so good to have you back on here. I wanna hold your hand.