going hog wild...

as i sit here eating my delicious turkey and swiss sammich, i'm reminded of something. i eat like an absolute PIG when i'm by myself. i am captain manners at a dinner table when other people are around, but when it's just me.... STUFFFOODINFACE! it's ridiculous.

spent today working on some photo biz stuff, creating blog headers (updating the photo blog, people... wait for it), and organizing things at home. sold the living room tv today, that just leaves the sofa left to sell, then i'll be ready for operation slim livin.

all this rain outside is reminding me of seattle... and you know? i don't mind it at all. 60 degree sort of wet days arent so bad. at least i'm not dying in a 85 degree no air-conditioning apartment like last summer. it was horrendous.

still feeling rather 'wait and see'ish... once the last week of may gets here, and i travel to copenhagen to shoot a wedding, i'll basically be homeless and jobless. the lack of finite direction is sort of refreshing... freeing, even. somehow i've managed to lose a few pounds, and i'm feeling really positive.

all in all... not too shabby.
now tell me about YOU.

hairdid and movie updates

so last night, i went on a date with a very sweet man. we ended up having drinks at lillie's and then mid conversation (which was really a mutual spastic rant about how amazing action movies are) decided to go see xmen: origins... mmm wolverine. please keep in mind that any movie with hugh jackman, liev schrieber, and ryan reynolds can have absolutely no storyline or plot and still be the best movie ever. oh wait. :) and so it was, the best ever. :)

today i mosied down to the meatpacking district to red market salon(http://www.redmarketnyc.com/) to visit my new friend and stylist, alex. she is an adorable little thing from california, and ive FINALLY found someone in nyc that knows how to properly do blonde highlights. glass of white wine, tons of giggles, and great hair. you can't beat that, at any price. if you're in the market for a new hairstyle or color, please go see her. and tell her that i sent you, you wont be sorry.

i'm off to enjoy the sunshine... you have no excuse. get outside. and smile at the freshly blonde girl bouncing by you (it's probably me).

an lic scrub...

i love that i feel no remorse whatsoever when i walk downstairs to the coffee place below my apartment and get coffee... not having brushed my hair or teeth, and wearing ink stained scrubs (that really look like i had a purple accident but whatever) and a tank top. i slap my dollar down on the counter and the girls know that i need my small coffee, two sugars, half and half.

just over two months after being laid off, i'm still not working, and have no new photo gigs coming in. somehow, the fact that the guy i was seeing decided to break up with me via text message a few weeks ago, has faded into nothingness... and i'm left wondering 'who was the guy that i was falling for in the beginning? because that certainly wasnt who i got towards the end'. that cowardly slow fade maneuver. why can't people just TALK to each other? i will never understand men. every girlfriend that i have swears within an inch of herself that she'd easily marry me were she a lesbian. whatever. maybe it's my own fault. i only let a select few see the magic... and only a certain kind of man is going to be able to understand and appreciate the magic.

the point is... he's gone and out of my life... and all i'll take with me is the memory of seven orgasms in one go. seven. monica geller would be proud.

with the window slightly cracked open to let in the cool spring(ish) breeze (happy spring), i can smell the beginning scents of the lunch service at the local chinese joint. this is what i've been waking up to lately. suddenly i'm awake and craving chicken chow mein. what the frick. i'm on a pilates kick, and ordered old school tai bo dvds in the mail. they're taking forever to get here, but i am DETERMINED to get my shizzle back together myself. no gym memberships.

i have a date tonight. with a man that has a small hoop earring in one ear. at what point in the scheme of the dating can i gently suggest that he get rid of it. because really, my inner self is screaming 'STOP BEING A GAY PIRATE, THIS IS NOT 1992!!!'...

or something.


i promise to write every day. it's a goal. so stay on me about it.

let the sun shine down...

a lot of things have changed about my new york life. i was recently laid off from my day job, i've decided not the renew the lease on my current apartment, and i'm considering leaving new york... perhaps for good. i think it's easy to say that i feel a little bit lost right now, unsure of my next steps, my real path. and this loneliness that pervades my daily life seems never to decrease. you can have a million friends and acquaintances and still feel utterly alone.

i'd like to think that i can make it as a full time photographer, but underneath all of that "skill" that i've somehow obtained, there is complete doubt. what does one do with doubt? where do you take it and drop it off? how do you find fortitude and courage to continue on when there's no guarantee of success?

what if, for example, i was here alone... forever. then what?

it's a new year... i should say something.

it's a new year, and thus far 2009 hasn't been too much of whiny shithead. in fact, 2009 and i are on the road to becoming fast friends. business is picking up... i'm able to ignore the fact that the biting cold and winter dryness has completely ruined my skin... and romance is in the air. in the form of a tall british transplant that seems to say all the right things and is quickly becoming my perfect counterpart. i cannot recall at any point in my life previously, feeling the way that i do now. and even if he ends up reading this (hi handsome!!), i don't even care... because i'm smiling like i want the world to be envious of my teeth.

i feel like writing, and taking pictures, and dancing slowly...

so hello to you 2009... high five. and let's carry on together... for old time's sake.

business as usual...

i've been putting a lot of energy into my photography business... which is probably why i haven't been writing here very much (making mental note to make time for both, to keep me balanced and sane).

doing a special promotion for headshots for acting students, targeting the headshot market in new york full force, networking... etc.

revamped the website, which can be found here: www.taraleigh.com
and selling new photoshop actions to other photographers (that are rather fun and pretty darn inexpensive) here: www.taraleigh.com/blog

thank you to all the continued support from my e-friends... xoxo

i suddenly felt like saying something...

because it's literally been months. all of that regular blither about my life that always seems to be true... aka "i'm single" and "i really need to start going to the gym again" are all still true. it's becoming winter at the speed of light... strange chapped patches are showing up on my legs again... it's cold. etc. all still applicable.

i just bought a neti pot... i'm going to be one of those strange people that pours warm water or saline through my nostrils every day. i am determined to get my nose working properly... this air here... i'm constantly gunked up, and that's bollocks.

i'm going to take a large gaping break from dating. a few months back i'd said that i was expecting a visitor, and finally had feelings for someone again after what? like four years... only to have to fizzle into nothingness after he left again. distance is not that big of a deal, at least not to me. i'm sure it was just an excuse, the idea of me is not as awesome as the actual me. but i think i'd rather spend the next few months focusing on my business, and growing that business, and making something of my time here... instead of constantly caring that i sleep alone, that i attract idiots, or that i'm craving the good business.

i had a bunch of promo cards printed up for a headshot promo i'm running for acting students.. and they were distributed at two schools in the city yesterday. i'm crossing my fingers VERY tightly that something comes of this. i want ten bookings and i'll be happy.. just ten out of the 150 that i passed out. think happy thoughts please and thank you.

i'll be spending the holidays in southern california this year. my mother's good friend retired to palm springs... so xmas in palm springs and new years in los angeles... i cannot effing wait. i'm on a nine day countdown til vacation and i really can't focus on anything else. seriously.