the eyes have it...

you know, i must seem rather a nutter this last week considering that i was pouting so profusely several days ago, and i now i cant stop grinning. but i guess that's how things go... things can change in an instant. you can let your thoughts linger over some douchenozzle from your past that probably didnt deserve your attention anyway, or you can focus on what's suddenly right in front of you. and lucky for me, it's two beautiful blue eyes that stay at the forefront of my mind since even yesterday... and it makes me grin, and blush a little (okay maybe a lot)... and i find myself looking forward to good things. walks and hand holding... endless conversations about nothing in particular, which doesn't really matter as long as that face is in front of you... potential canoodling. romance.

romance.

i have never in the entirety of my dating life let out the inner goofball for the man that i'm with. it's always a more cautious version of the real me. the just a little bit afraid to really put myself out there me... which has served me well in the past for the most part, i was right to be cautious, since some people are less awesome then they presume to be... but i'm thinking, maybe it's time. if the people that love me the most are the people that really know who i am as a person, really get and appreciate me, in all that uniqueness... then maybe it's time to just let it go.

well... here's to letting go. with my eyes wide open...

it's a new year... i should say something.

it's a new year, and thus far 2009 hasn't been too much of whiny shithead. in fact, 2009 and i are on the road to becoming fast friends. business is picking up... i'm able to ignore the fact that the biting cold and winter dryness has completely ruined my skin... and romance is in the air. in the form of a tall british transplant that seems to say all the right things and is quickly becoming my perfect counterpart. i cannot recall at any point in my life previously, feeling the way that i do now. and even if he ends up reading this (hi handsome!!), i don't even care... because i'm smiling like i want the world to be envious of my teeth.

i feel like writing, and taking pictures, and dancing slowly...

so hello to you 2009... high five. and let's carry on together... for old time's sake.