Sunday, April 12, 2009

let the sun shine down...

a lot of things have changed about my new york life. i was recently laid off from my day job, i've decided not the renew the lease on my current apartment, and i'm considering leaving new york... perhaps for good. i think it's easy to say that i feel a little bit lost right now, unsure of my next steps, my real path. and this loneliness that pervades my daily life seems never to decrease. you can have a million friends and acquaintances and still feel utterly alone.

i'd like to think that i can make it as a full time photographer, but underneath all of that "skill" that i've somehow obtained, there is complete doubt. what does one do with doubt? where do you take it and drop it off? how do you find fortitude and courage to continue on when there's no guarantee of success?

what if, for example, i was here alone... forever. then what?

2 comments:

Amanda Mae said...

Seattle is waiting with open arms. And, from what I've heard? If you can make in New York you can make it Anywhere.

As far as I'm concerned, you've made it T.

x's and o's and from the West Coast.

Jess said...

If it makes you feel ANY better, you're not the only one out there going through this. I'm a fellow NYC girl who was also laid off from her job (in Jan.) and I'm going through more or less the same thing... where will I end up? Do I re-new my lease, even though I don't have a job? Lots of friends, but no dates... no *prospects* even! ahhh... the trials and tribulations of this thing called life. Good luck~ just follow your heart and listen to your gut ;)