a shmilly bit of shhmistocation...

it's friday, i have zero plans tonight... and to be honest, nothing sounds better. i cannot wait to get home and just relax. i feel like i've squeezed two years into one week... eventhough nothing notable happened. so bizarre.

do ever just get tired? tired of waking up in the morning? i was discussing this topic with pinkangel earlier, so i'm not going to get into it at length again... but at what point do you just get fed up with the half life while trying to be patient for the full life to find you. she suggested that i go out and find it... but you can't find love, and you can't magically create some lovely familial image out of a crockpot (or banged up rice cooker in my case) and secret spices from the cupboard (i only own nutmeg, if you're needing some).

why is it that i get so disturbed by other people leaving newspapers in the public restrooms at work? and by "people", i mean "women"... because that's the restroom that i go into every day. there's always that little receptacle attached the stall door that allows you to dispose of your naughty vittles... but please dont leave your US Weekly in there. how much time are you REALLY spending in there to warrant bringing in the actual mag or paper? i bring W into the bathroom with me at home.. mostly because if i'm in the middle of a good article, i'll want to keep reading even while "divulging" (we'll call it)... but that's at HOME for crying out loud. i do all kinds of things at home that we wont really go in to... but geeeez.

tracy chapman is playing on my itunes channel now... so i'm going to go belt out 'gimme one reason to love you' in my head. of course i'll need to stop typing to you, in order to do that.

what?

sometimes, good things come out of me...

but only sometimes. :)

here's an obviously me maneuver...

the first morning after i launder my sheets is always the hardest for me to get out of bed (secondary only to a mancake sleeping next to me, then forget it... i'm staying in bed and will be late to wherever it is that i'm supposed to be). the clean sheet smell and fluffy comforter combo is just torture. must. hit. snooze. onemoretime!

so this morning, i decided to forego the makeup and fancy hair (like i ever bother with this anymore) and put on a decent work outfit... cream sweater, greenish slacks, i wrap my cream scarf around my neck, grab my jacket, and throw on my uggs - because my brown boots are in the pile of spare shoes under my desk at work.

wrong. this is not true. i took all those shoes home b/c i was having an office cleaning fit. so now, i'm AT WORK, cruising around in my lovely work ensem and sporting... yup, you got it... uggs.

i am the epitome of an envelope pusher. thus far, no one has said anything (which actually almost makes it worse!). haha.

carry on.

there is a sea in me...

there is a sea in me...
deep inside me a giant sea,
only a tiny boat in which to cross.
the oars...hidden,
the wood...weakening,
but made from the stuff of magic.
this boat in me is so small you see,
and comfortably makes passage for one.

there is a sea in me... deep inside me a giant sea,
welcoming of travellers but knowing few.
the water... cold.
the passage... uncertain.
daring the intrepid man to interrupt its waters.
the sea in me seems so vast you see,
resolute, entreating this passage for one.

this last glimmer of hope i see.
a preservation to battle against the sea.
a lifetime of worth and ease.
failing all else,
there is the urge to swim...

in me.

i'm the kind of girl...

(why is it that women have a hard time calling themselves women? at what age do you start to feel comfortable calling yourself WOMAN, instead of girl, lady, gal, or chick? i often wonder when i'll fully own that word, woman... i roll it around in my mouth sometimes, and often almost let it escape my lips, but usually i change it at the last moment and still say girl. why?)

i'm the kind of girl:

* that sets up dates with ex-boyfriends while on vacation home, just to ensure that she has someone to make out with.
* that eats an entire container of hummus for lunch.
* who thinks that sweat is a good and necessary evil.
* that always daydreams about other adventures, and seems to have her head firmly immursed in the clouds.
* always wishes that she'd had a few sisters.
* wants babies but doesn't actually want to give birth. (get on that, science)
* can't help waiting til the last minute.
* has things to accomplish and should just get to it...

and with that... a hearty 'carry on'.

that was such a long break, i should be tan or something...

five days off? i can't even remember the last time that i had five days off. oh yes i do... it was in february for my birthday, which was forever ago. i really am overdue for a vacation, of the tropical persuasion. and pronto.

i just spent the last few days at my friend's parent's house in connecticut... eating great food, drinking wine, playing boardgames, going on hikes, walking on the beach for photo taking, and laughing... a lot. i've never had that much fun at a holiday dinner table in my entire life (sorry family), but it's true. get a bunch of overeducated nerds at a turkey feast and watch the weirdness ensue. so amazing in such a brilliant and wonderful way. i felt sad taking the train back home, and spent the entirety of sunday in bed in my jams... watching movies (blood diamond is brilliant btw).

being back at work today is a little surreal... technically i'm now back on that 'watch what i eat, get in shape before xmas' thing, and i shant be drinking or enjoying monstrous portions until then. but i had to DRAG my toosh out of bed today. why is it always so difficult to go back to work on the monday after a few days off? talk about torture.

happy monday friends... carry on.

added for rachel... the pest!! hehe

sidewalk etiquette you miniature person wielding an umbrella!!

i am from seattle, washington. i don't know if you're aware of this, but it rains there... sometimes. therefore, i am an AMAZING driver in any kind of precipitation and will not pull out an umbrella on the sidewalk until actual full sized droplets are bouncing on my head with any proximity to each other. if they are five seconds apart, get over it.

so today, as i walked to the dentist for my every-six-month cleaning, i found myself getting more and more annoyed by the douchebags on the sidewalk. here's the thing... if you're short, unless you follow the proper umbrella holding rules, you are going to poke me in the face as you walk by me. LIFT UP YOUR UMBRELLA!!! the tall people will lift theirs up higher, it'll all work out, but avoid pushing your umbrella spokes into other people's faces!! i do not understand how human beings can be so unaware of themselves as they walk down the street. you see the other people around you, don't you? it's even easier to spot them when they are also carrying football field sized bright orange umbrellas. because if you're going to carry an umbrella, CLEARLY you should be able to keep your entire golf cart dry at the same time. imbeciles. stay to the right, keep your umbrella above eye level of the people around you, and everything will be okay.

sidewalk rage is a growing problem in new york city. we must all do our part to make the sidewalks safe. i like my eyeballs, and i'd like to hold on to both of them. i know that's madness, but really.

today was also the first time that i had the opportunity to stand up next to my dental hygienist. usually i'm already sitting down in the chair when she comes in, and she usually leaves to go work on someone else by the time i get up to gather my things. not so this time, because i'd brought in stanley (my night guard) for a quick cleaning.... so as she was finishing him off, i stood up to grab my jacket (and hat and scarf and purse, if we're being thorough). i've always known that she was petite and adorable, but good lord i LOOM over her. she turned around and then tipped her head all the back to look up into my face. we both started laughing. then my dentist came in the room and she's also just as beency.

everywhere i go, i'm surrounded by little people. i'm about to change my name to dorothy and be done with it.

happy gobble gobble week. carry on.