you're so morose, it's gross... and i'm verbose

yes... clearly i'm ridiculous. you don't have to say it.

here's what i discovered today (and no i'm not such a morbid thinker usually, the topic came up when someone that i know lost a friend yesterday... or something):

i have not had anyone close to me die. no close family members, no close friends, no weird freak accidents, no someones lost to strange health issues at a young age... nada. and yes, i'm knocking on anything wood or woodlike near me right now. is that weird? is it weird that the only examples of loss that i've ever experienced in life are ended relationships and heartache? i think that's weird. not that i'm hoping that you all drop dead tomorrow, but i think that's unusual. i can't think of anyone i know that hasn't lost someone.

i also dream about my mother dying or getting into an accident... a LOT. it happens so often that i'm numb to the idea of her keeling over tomorrow. i get nervous when i watch her arthritic legs walk up and down the stairs in her condo, but the concept of her death seems so foreign (and yet familair b/c i dream about it all the time) that i'm not touched by it. who KNOWS how i'm going to behave when she actually passes. i wonder what my reaction will be. frightening.

i've also been daydreaming about falling up and down stairs lately... every time i get to the top of a flight of stairs, i pause for a second and grab the handrail. of course i'm wearing heels more than usual... but still.

something is about to happen... because all i can think about is doom and disaster. hold the handrails people... something is coming.

and happy tuesday... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

when life gets a little rough and/or tumble... add a little sunshine

dating is hard. it takes a lot out of you... all that being on your best behavior, putting your best foot forward, remembering not to belch in front of someone new (that hasn't yet been introduced to the cacophony of your burps), having to put makeup on and shave your legs, the not so joyous tasks of letting someone down that you like but don't LIKE, and then starting all over again when you realize that the current crew just isn't hitting the high notes... or more to the point, making YOU hit the high notes.

i signed up for another month of match.com... it's payday and i was in the mood. last month garnered 1300 profile views, 212 winks received, 73 emails, 7 first dates, and 3 second plus dates. frightening statistics indeed. i swear i'm going to start saving the gem openers that i'm receiving from some people... just so that we can all giggle later.

since usually winter is a tough time for me, i'm delighted to find that i've stopped biting my nails again and i've got some significant growth going on here. that's good stuff. means that i'm not feeling anxious. the only bad thing about this winter is the beluga like coloring of my skin right now. way to make a girl feel NOT awesome. so i just bought this (the bff from california just introduced me to it last weekend and it's amazing):



there are worse things then being pale and awesome... but tan and awesome is just a little bit better.

mental note: must book plane ticket back to seattle soon so that sugin can fix my roots. spring is soon to hit NYC and i must be prepared for full dactyl shenanigans.

i don't care what you do, just please stop showing me the lipstick...

my roommate's dog has a crush on me. his name is eden (yes i know), and he's a chihuahuahuhauhauaha (or however the hell you spell that horrendous word).
he whimpers, he shakes uncontrollably, and he twirls around in fast little circles when he thinks that someone is about to give him attention.

he also (though i have no idea why) gets visibly "excited" anytime i get near him. it completely (and i mean completely) grosses me out. for some reason, i've managed to avoid the oddities that go along with having male dogs (being mostly a cat owner), so i was ill-prepared for what this dog would do to me.

apparently he's never been neutered, so he humps other people's feet... but not me... he tries to lick my feet and then show me the lipstick. FOUL.

my roommate was out of town for about ten days a little bit ago, and i was trying really hard to be nice to the dog, and give him little pets on the head, etc... and one saturday afternoon, upon realizing that i'd been ignoring the dog for many many hours, i decided to allow the dog into my room and up onto my bed while i relaxed and watched a movie.

he seemed to be quieting down and watching the movie as well, until i looked down to see him going to town on himself with the biggest boner i've ever seen on a dog. i'm pretty sure that my neighbors thought i was being attacked due to the yelp that i screamed, but i threw the dog down the hall and immediately went into the bathroom to wash my hands... twice.

seriously. why does this creep me out so much? now i really can't go anywhere near the dog. i keep peeking to see if the lipstick is out...and when i'm around... oh it's out baby.

anyone else?? or is it just me?