i’ve got my eye on you...

i figure it's about time to bite the bullet and get contact lenses for real this time. yes i have astigmatism and have trouble in the past with the comfort level of wearing contacts, but really.. if i'm going to keep taking pictures... it'd be nice to not have my glasses smushed into my face whilst looking through my viewfinder. just a thought...

our vision plan is quite frankly... lame. it's a reimbursement plan. which means i have to pay out of pocket and then fill out forms and wait to be reimbursed. cuz i totally have $500 extra dollars laying around for my eyeball fund.

i am still not quite sick... i keep taking tylenol cold (sleepy time version) before bed, and it's helping me 1) fall asleep earlier and 2) actually get a good nights sleep. of course im totally groggy during the day, but at least i'm well rested. ish. if i can stay this way til sunday morning, the bubonic plague can strike me for all i care. but it HAS to wait til sunday morning... i cannot eff up this wedding. (which, by the way, i'm now starting to get nervous about).

overall... i'm just bored. i've been working alot and trying to stay rested and hydrated... and i'm just bored. i haven't been to the gym in almost three weeks, and that's not good. being so busy that you can't take time out to take care of yourself... not worth the money. :)

i know that i was super excited for september to get here, and now that it's sped by i'm heralding october like it's my job. i suppose we always want the opposite of what we actually have... and it's my least favorite thing about myself.

hi there...

real men don’t order frappaccinos..

you might be grossed out by this but i was just in the bathroom... taking care of some business... and the person in the stall next to me was either holding her hand above her head and dropping pebbles into the bowl or performing the hover at almost a full standing position... the plop plops were SO loud. i almost wanted to say something, but did not. i just wiped my seat and proceeded...

this morning, on my quest for caffeine, i watched the most interesting pair of business people chatting as they waited for their starbucks. she was probably 5'2" in an almost chic suit, possibly italian (the girl not the suit), wearing edgy glasses, and attempting to look older than she was... or perhaps more hip, who knows. her conversation partner was like 6'6" and also italian (and by italian it could've been any number of languages b/c i couldn't really hear what they were saying). his head was bent so far forward that his chin was resting on his chest, and she was looking up so much that her neck HAD to be hurting. anyway... these types of conversations always amuse me... i have no idea why. i am not short... so this shit doesn't occur in my life. anyway, i was trying to get a good once over glance at the guy because, well, he's tall and i'll take what tallness i can get around here (really)... and then his order came up... and i changed my mind... because any real man in my future life does NOT order frappuccinos.. especially with a mountainous pile of whipped cream on top.

SIA last night was amazing... her new album should prove to be just as magical as the last. and i still maintain that she is ninety million times better live than she is in a recording studio. but that's just me...

i'm really tired... too much work... but in a good way. please keep your photo referrals coming in. the more the merrier... and the sooner i save up for a better camera, the sooner you'll have access to better pictures of yourselves.

or something.

an intimate position...

bless my starry skies

and this expanse of deepest black.

a curtained soliloquy in waking up next to something new.

letting fingers intertwine as a melody lingers in the distance

embracing...

everything.

intimacy is everywhere if you bother to hold onto it.

rushing through your fingers and peppering the neck with sensation.

a festooning of joy

discussed in quiet circles with the whispered promise

of

sameness.

the end of solace and misery.

the beginning of forgiveness.

the start of a conversation that never ceases to amaze.

the continuance...

my dear august...

i hate to break it to you, but you've been rather sucky.

your weather has been all over the place... solid events have been minimal (minus DP which was beyond amazing and might make up for the rest of august's suckiness in one blow)... and for the most part you've been rather boring. even lonely.

i am looking forward to september, in earnest. i have tickets in hand to some amazing shows, fun people are coming to visit, and the idea of pulling out scarves and sweaters again rather excites me. i love fall. for that brief month where neither summer swass nor winter chafing endeavor to ruin me.

august... i promise to be good to you for the next week and then will give you one hearty goodbye as i dropkick your tooshie out the door... i'm hoping that september will stay for awhile, and not go by too quickly.

carry on xoxo tlc

i have been a bad, bad blogger...

do you know why? because i have a stupid little myspace account and i blog there... daily. for some reason or other, i can't be bothered to repost over here, or heaven forbid, formulate further thoughts that would necessitate an entirely new blog entry. i'm just not that brill.

today, however, i've noticed that i am one punchy little biyotch. and i either want to fight tigers for all of my friends, and demonstrate a little loyalty and valor (because sometimes i AM the man in the relationship, even with myself), or pick verbal battles with people because i know that i can win... or as my best friend K says 'make them cry'. not that i'm really a bad person and want to make anyone cry... i'm just in that sort of mood. my period, for those of you that would automatically assume that my testiness is generated out of ovarian overanalysis, is still a few weeks away.

it is raining like crazy today... and although i mourn the inevitable end of summer, i rather like wearing this sweater today, and sipping from this lovely cup of steaming tomato soup. if a grilled cheese sammich would magically appear in front of me, i'd swear i was dead and firmly implanted in heaven.

over the last few weeks, i have determined that i am officially a photographer. no more half-assed shrugs of my shoulders, or bashful responses to compliments. i am a photographer. and if you would like to hire me, you know where to find me.

in case you need some visual reference... here: www.flickr.com/photos/tdactyl
all monies earned in the next few months will go towards the completion of my website. i promise not to make your children cry while we're shooting.

carry on.

shmoop shmoop be boop de doop...

who the eff knows... whatever.

my dreams at night are usually the things of great adventure and romance, mystery and suspense, passion and idiocy. i can never be too certain when i wake up in the morning, if i'm remembering something that has actually happened, or if the mild bubbles of recognition are merely figments of my imagination.

so when i woke up mid slumber to the sound of thunder crashing and rain pounding at the windows and roof from all directions, watched as water gushed past my view horizontally, the sky lighting up with circadian flashes of brilliance, i forgot all about it by the time i'd fallen back asleep...mere moments later. i was only reminded of the occurence upon waking this morning, only to find that EVERY SUBWAY IN NEW YORK CITY HAD BEEN CLOSED DOWN DUE TO FLOODING. minus one train... that just happened to be the one that goes by my house. so after an hour of the hottest and most tightly packed subway cars ever, i made it into grand central station, and got to walk the ten blocks up to my office building. i've never seen so many confused and drenched and helpless looking people...and that's not even speaking of the tourists... the poor dears.

i have no idea why i took a shower this morning, because my sassy little outfit and hairdo were completely wet and crumpled by the time i got here... i have since toweled off and put on some workout shorts underneath my skirt to stop the friction from setting my body aflame, and this lovely iced coffee smiling at me from my desk, is the greatest thing EVER! EVAH!

lately i've been smattering my netflix queue (i swear i leave my house sometimes..ummm) with classic movies, and i've sort of found myself in love with doris day and have been watching all her movies. yesterday was the thrill of it all with james garner... i'm sorry but she is adorable and lovely and even the simplest and most stupid (and chauvinistic) storylines are made entertaining by her smile and challenging banter.

then i watched breach... and ryan phillipe is no longer good looking. he's gotten a little pudgy and really is just a bad actor. i haven't liked him in anything since playing by heart (which is one of my favorite movies of all time... mostly because jon stewart is in it), but that's neither here nor there. breach... is... disturbing, on a ton of levels, and mostly because it's about a true story/event. chris cooper is an amazing actor, that somehow is overlooked in general. i'm not necessarily going to recommend seeing it, but if you happen to, you should enjoy it... if you're breathing air in and out every day and aren't, in fact, dead.

i'm excited to go to the gym today... it's legs and tookus day. weeeeeeeeee!!

carry on xoxo tlc

i don’t even know what i’m talking about anymore...

i had one of those spiritual moments yester evening... well not 'spiritual' mind you, because i'm dead inside... perhaps the better word is peaceful. i'd gone down to the penn station area, to macy's to buy new sheets (like you all knew that i was doing) and decided to go to the gym that was nearby in herald towers. the gym is on the 25th floor (i hate long elevator rides) and a little smaller than the one i've been going to lately, but had all the amenities that i needed.

i kicked my ass again (god i love doing that) and decided to take my stretch and unwind time out on the balcony slash terrace. there is a wrap around deck at this location that overlooks all of midtown, you can see up sixth avenue all the way to central park, and in the other direction all the way through to the financial district. had it not been the muggiest day EVER, my zen-like experience would've been even greater. but i just stood there, doing my show off stretches (because even at almost-thirty i can still pull off some old school i'm a gymnast stretches) and watched the sun set. it was amazing.

i ended up reading something for work last night that referenced candida royale and her old school pro-women 'real side of women's experience' porn company, and because i was curious i researched on line a little bit and read what she was about. which led to me surfing porn sites for about an hour, which obviously led to diddle central... and then i was wide awake. there are really only two conclusions to diddle central (aka dating myself) or sex of any kind, for that matter: either wear me out so that i fall instantly asleep, or enjoy a few minutes of the festive, have the moment, and then find yourself wiiiiide awake and raring to go. i need someone else there to actually wear myself out ON, which is a shame in and of itself, but nonetheless... there i was at midnight... on my new sheets... awake as if the day was new. i might be the only one that has this problem... but there you go.

as i type this i notice that my arms are really sore today. i keep smacking into things and having a hard time lifting anything.... maybe i pushed myself a little too much at the gym last night, who knows. but that coupled with the start of p week today, has turned me into a massive clutz. massive.... bruises pop up out of nowhere as if cosmically willed to the surface. bygones.

i can't even remember what i was going to talk about today... this all just sort of fell out of my mouth like verbal vomit... how exciting for YOU really...

carry on